I don't like being alone ( not talking about single here, I don't like that either, but this post isn't about that, at least not directly, and yes, I plan to write like Salman Rushdie with a million commas and other pointless punctuations)but I don't hate it.
The million retarded voices in my head keep me sufficiently busy for anything from a weekly team meeting to an overnight train journey. The good/bad thing is I am not too worried about it ( at least not as yet, may be when I hit 30 I'll be a freakin' mental wreck), I am sure any half assed intelligent person does the same thing ( and if you aren't doing it, thats probably because you shat your brains out years ago).
So where is this post going, as usual I am not too sure. But this is what I wanted to write, this weekend on an train journey I had plenty of time to hold an all party conference for all the "freak mes" in my head, and I think we came to a conclusion/mutual understanding. I have spent way too much time fucking up, messing around and in general seriously underachieving, while most of the people I actually liked have moved to other countries, are getting married,and/or are in other various awesomely awesome positions.
So I decided the fucking up has to go, but here comes the trick part, I don't want to eff up on my way to achieving my life goals, but I don't have any clue to what my goals are, and thats scary.Real scary. I am 24 and still without any clue what I am going to be or what I 'really' want to be.
When I was a kid in school (as opposed to now where I am still just a kid, but in a cubicle), I wanted to be a scientist and to do "cool science shit". So it isn't really all that surprising that with such clear cut out life goals to begin with, I am in this mess. When I look at all the other people, people I work with, friend from college, and maybe even the ones I went to school with, I wonder do all these people have everything figured out, or are they as confused as I am. Or maybe they have just resigned to do doing what they are doing. Well one thing I am confident about, I am never going to give in to doing some boring crap for the rest of life, no matter how unstable it may make my life.Or maybe I will.
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Dude....you are over-thinking it....all you need is some booze and sex....and your life will be all set....but the most hilarious part is you are getting worried about people getting married......dude....what the hell are you talking about.....hows that moving up in life....anyways don't worry about it too much and get your ass here soon.....your whole perspective will change.....and stop whining about stuff and ask that girl out.....hehehe....now this is gonna follow some interesting comments....at least im hoping so.....
Dada, I would say the same thing. Stop overthinking it, a bit of booze and sex might help, dont know thought how long the effect gonna last. Having a girlfriend might also help but it can be a risky bet.
On a serious note, All the pepole who look less confused have probably compromised with what they are and given up the desire of being what they always wanted to be. I think there are just two ways to kill the confusion, either decide what you want to do/become in ur life and once you decide dont think twice on it, or compromise with what you are and try to become happy with it. I dont think you want to take the second route. So I'll suggest this, take a few days off, spare some good time with your family and friends, That will help boost up ur energy. Come back from ur holidays and spare some time thinking what you actually want to do/become and plan how are you gonna do that (keeping your current situation in mind). And from the very next day start working on ur plan.
And yeah do chill out and enjoy madi :) whenever you get some spare time.
getting a girl wld do u more than good than harm!! but seriously I'm just thinking u r messed up b'cos u don have very clear idea of ur goal and ambitions or u r more worried of the fact that ur frnds(less talented)have achieved more than u or say r a lot happier than u?
I guess plz don look arnd and follow ur instincts (ofcourse easier said than done!)
Boy o boy.....I guess this perplexion hits everybody our age...when you look around you find people doing different things..and it seems many of them are doing better than you.Talking from first hand experience...have passed last one year doing some shit which i know nobody would ever care to go back and use..but still even here i found others shitting better than me. I dont know what I should aim at coz I dont know whats best for me, I have hacked and hewed many options to bring some peace to my mind though. I 2 believe its impossible to work all my age...would actually like to take up unconventional stuff that I really enjoy doing....and dude I have absolutely no idea if a girl can bring any stability/unstability in yr life but booze sure has a proven calming effect.
I dont think what u hav i ur head (the fuckin voices) are very uncommon. Everyone has those voices. U are just never satisfied. I dont think that anyone who has achieved even the biggest of hings is satisfied as there always remains so much more to do. So, my simple advise, ive your best in your pursuit for a better future but on the way, never forget that you might have a good thing going on. Life can be a bitch and there may be worse times. So forget the past, enjy the present and plan for the future.
well....this is a serious case of of focus problem.Lets sort out, what is bothering you.is it others , the way they have climbed up the ladder, looks happy or is it you? that you cudnt become like your ideal "them" or is it you couldnt become what YOU wanted your self to become. TO make things simpler at the first go...forget others,everyone is made to something specific, and they would perform best there and would be happiest there....so what gives YOU happiness? there must be something...some work,,and something where you can slog for hours and days without break and still get a high from the work....think.Usually, its some kind of childhood dream,,,,they are a person's blueprint for success. So if you DID think of becoming a scientist and doing some science shit....then go and do that science shit..you ll be best in that, and yu dont have to bother what others are thinking, if shitting that particular shit takes you to a higher level of joy. Whose stopping you? ,what the ways of doing that? figure out....bas ,,thats it, simple ,,and select and delete all mental freaks, delete any kind of negativity, they are the real demons, enjoy your present state, like they say, present is called a present because its actually a present, a gift to hold and rejoice, you ll not get back you 24rth year again,...so enjoy it to the fullest, things are good everywhere, feel happy where you are today, not everyone can reach there, where you have reached today , with maybe having bigger and greater talents than you, some one who may be real needy and unloved. Feel lucky, real lucky and blessed, thank your stars for whatever you are , and start from there. If your heart is set, you ll offcourse succeed, god you help you succeed, when he knows your giving your fullest to him,Enjoy every moment, enjoy the train journey, moment cribbed is a valueable moment lost . And opposite sex and booz wont help much in this, they can only act as local anaesthesia, and not actually healers in the long run, and the ultimate joy and orgasm comes from the work you always dreamt of doing and acheiving! believe me thers no other greater joy than that. Enjoy life's moments! it comes only once .
Hey Basu..Nice to see someone as confused as me. Setting a goal, I believe is the most difficult choice you have to make. More so when you are in a field which you don't really relish. My manager keeps asking me, "Amitesh what you want to do in life?", and I have the same old answer "I don't know". I even hate to think leading the rest of my life as an IT professional. I never knew you were a confused guy, may be the job is taking it's toll on you.
If u expected some nice advices by writing this ,then forget it since
1)I am more or less in the same boat
2)You anyway know all those gold shit anybody can tell you
3)I am not a Psychiatrist
So,just when u think ur mind is gonna burst up come here and we will both throw it out ,atleast for few months.
Till then try asking that girl out..
@Mayank
what is it about putting so many dotts after every third word,
Does that make it look good or is it also a style of some renowned writer:)
or u just leaving blanks so that we can fill in answers to your :)doubts:) you were having while writing it.
PS :As u now my English sucks
OK, i see you have succeeded in fooling people into believing that u actually are feeling lonely and looking for a girl or something!! dude lonely i can accept, but YOU LOOKING FOR A GIRL!! NO WAY!! what will happen to your gay lord status if that happens!!!! :P
waise good job, u surely got a lot of comments on this one.
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